What a Day!

Well....I don't even know what to say or how to really feel! I know I'm falling deeper in love with the man in my life, Lawrence, and it seems to get better every day! But I'm just not sure if I really deserve a man as good as he is! He's all I've ever wanted, and yet there are doubts of what he sees in me! There is a smile upon my face every time i think of him, even when we weren't together! And I feel like the luckiest woman alive to have him by my side! I feel so content and hopelessly in love! He is absolutely fantastical, sexallicious, and amazizing!

Happy Birthday to Me!

Tomorrow is my birthday! I'm going to be 33 years old! ugghh! I'm dreading my late thirties! It's like living in the land of thirty-something! I've been struggling lately taking care of my kids on my own and looking for a job while also attending college! I've been slacking off quite a bit with my school work which i know is completely irresponsible, but i've had a lot going on and a lot on my mind! My teenage daughter is getting into trouble at school and wants to be home schooled, but how the hell am i suppose to do that along with everything else in my life?! I'm just overwhelming myself instead of taking one thing at a time so to make sure everything gets done! But it seems impossible for me to not think of everything! My bills are past due, my rent is late and we're about to be evicted, my daughter is going down the wrong road to success, about to be expelled from school, my four year old is driving me crazy, i'm behind in school, and I feel like I'm headed toward my mid-life crisis faster and faster as each day passes by! What to do!!

Happy Halloween

okay, so it's Halloween and it's dark and scary! Lol! I had a blast this Halloween. I got to be a sexy cop and a freak by nature. I went to an all night party last night at a local club to watch my friend's band play. I had alot of fun! Then I took my kids trick or treating this evening and later we went drive-by silly stringing! Lol it was lots of fun!

Just a Note

Well, I went on a ride along with the Wyoming Highway Patrol this evening, as part of my Criminal Justice class I'm taking at the local Community College. It was fun, educational, and exciting! The officer I rode with was Patrolman VanMeter, who was quite handsome and very professional! And even though I informed him I was not planning to become an officer of the law, he was more than willing to show me the ropes of law enforcement from is point of view. It gave me the opportunity to see things from a whole new and different perspective! It's a whole new ball park when you're on the oppisite side! But I did enjoy this experience and hope that I will have the opportunity to do it again sometime!

funny face

Today's A New Day!

Even with all the stress and frustration in my life, I continue to tell myself that today is a new day! There is so much going on in my life right now sometimes it overwhelms me. But I remind myself to take a deep breath and take one thing at a time. My life has never been simple or without some kind of emotional whirlwind! But I've remained strong through it all! I've faced difficult decisions, with some i've made the right choice and with others, I haven't! Sometimes I wish I could turn back time and make different choices. But would I be the same person if I could change the decisions I've made? I highly doubt that! I still carry many burdens of regret and resentments, but in due time I will heal from the pain and be able to move on. But I can only do this by taking one thing at a time, one day at a time!

All Stressed Out

Wow! Never in my wildest dreams did I expect my life to turn out this way! It's amazing how fast things can change! My fourteen year old is getting into fist fights at school, now she is suspended for a whole week and cannot be on school campus for 10 days or she will get a ticket for tresspassing! On the brighter side of things, I thought my relationship was going stale and Larry was backing off, but as usual, I was only tripping, he's just got alot of his own stressful shit on his mind! He said I'm always tripping. but at least he's understanding and knows when I'm tripping enough to ignore it and let it pass! He's made the decision to be my four year old's "Daddy" because her father is a real P.O.S.! And this makes her very happy! I'm falling behind in school and don't know quite what I'm going to do! I know the right thing to do is devote my time and focus on my school work, it's just hard when I have so much going on with my teen right now! But it's just another mountain I have to climb! it will all be worth it in the end! :)