Happy Halloween

okay, so it's Halloween and it's dark and scary! Lol! I had a blast this Halloween. I got to be a sexy cop and a freak by nature. I went to an all night party last night at a local club to watch my friend's band play. I had alot of fun! Then I took my kids trick or treating this evening and later we went drive-by silly stringing! Lol it was lots of fun!

Just a Note

Well, I went on a ride along with the Wyoming Highway Patrol this evening, as part of my Criminal Justice class I'm taking at the local Community College. It was fun, educational, and exciting! The officer I rode with was Patrolman VanMeter, who was quite handsome and very professional! And even though I informed him I was not planning to become an officer of the law, he was more than willing to show me the ropes of law enforcement from is point of view. It gave me the opportunity to see things from a whole new and different perspective! It's a whole new ball park when you're on the oppisite side! But I did enjoy this experience and hope that I will have the opportunity to do it again sometime!

funny face

Today's A New Day!

Even with all the stress and frustration in my life, I continue to tell myself that today is a new day! There is so much going on in my life right now sometimes it overwhelms me. But I remind myself to take a deep breath and take one thing at a time. My life has never been simple or without some kind of emotional whirlwind! But I've remained strong through it all! I've faced difficult decisions, with some i've made the right choice and with others, I haven't! Sometimes I wish I could turn back time and make different choices. But would I be the same person if I could change the decisions I've made? I highly doubt that! I still carry many burdens of regret and resentments, but in due time I will heal from the pain and be able to move on. But I can only do this by taking one thing at a time, one day at a time!

All Stressed Out

Wow! Never in my wildest dreams did I expect my life to turn out this way! It's amazing how fast things can change! My fourteen year old is getting into fist fights at school, now she is suspended for a whole week and cannot be on school campus for 10 days or she will get a ticket for tresspassing! On the brighter side of things, I thought my relationship was going stale and Larry was backing off, but as usual, I was only tripping, he's just got alot of his own stressful shit on his mind! He said I'm always tripping. but at least he's understanding and knows when I'm tripping enough to ignore it and let it pass! He's made the decision to be my four year old's "Daddy" because her father is a real P.O.S.! And this makes her very happy! I'm falling behind in school and don't know quite what I'm going to do! I know the right thing to do is devote my time and focus on my school work, it's just hard when I have so much going on with my teen right now! But it's just another mountain I have to climb! it will all be worth it in the end! :)

Hopelessly In Love

Well, I'm in this new relationship that has added excitement, passion, infactuation, and happiness. For the first time in my life I've found a real man that isn't a dead beat loser! But to every upside there is a downside! He lives in his own house with a morgage (I'm usually a loser magnet to little boys who have no responsibility, no job, no ambition, you get the ides) currently he has 3 roommates (just helping out some friends) and I have my own little mobile home that I rent that houses me and two of my daughters. So when he has his days off   work, the girls and I pack overnight bags and stay over at his house. The guys (his roommates) get annoyed and frustrated because my 4 year old that is an early riser, wakes them up when they'd rather be sleeping in! I ask him to stay over at my house to save me the trouble of packing up bags and my little family to drive across town, but he says my bed is uncomfortable to sleep on. My thoughts on this is that I make sacrifices once to twice a week to be able get that family feeling, he understands I have children and he has made the bold move of being a daddy to my 4 year old cuz her father is a poor example and a drug addict. he also understands that in this relationship with me, my kids are included (it's not just the two of us, it's all of us). so I figure he should be able to make a sacrifice (which is alot less than mine) to stay with me at least once a week. I told him last night that I have a family at home and although my oldest daughter is 14 and is fully capable of caring for herself and her sister if I were to stay over by myself, it's not fair to my kids. I love him, but I just can't keep doing this, it's wearing my out cuz I not only have to pack clothes, everyday hygiene neccessities, but also my laptop and backpack cuz I'm a full time college student. I have homework, research, studies, etc.! So to me, this is a huge sacrifice I have to make each week. We do however spend time together almost everyday unless I'm swamped with homework. I just go home every night. the history on our relationship is quite unique!
We first met almost ten years ago and we had a one night stand with each other (but we were friends before and after that). at that time in our lives, we were both a bit insecure and afraid to voice our attractions to each other. Eventually we went our separate ways, he was deployed, but they found he had cancer and so in desperation and fear he married his high school sweetheart. Meanwhile, I was in an abusive relationship and had two more children. ( I have four daughters, one lives with her father in Fargo ND and one was adopted). Even through his marriage and my abusive relationship, I would see him around town and at my best friends house and my heart would still skip a beat and I found myself wondering, what if. Eventually, my abusive relationship ended and his marriage was on the rocks. I found myself in another unhealthy relationship where I was supporting this loser, working my ass off, going to school, taking care of things at home, while he played video games, smoked marijuanna, and got drunk every single day. I was finally fed up and kicked him out and started hanging out with my , friend and her husband again. Of course, he was still hanging out at their house, too, only this time he was single! And that's how it started! we exchanged numbers and have been inseparable ever since! Now it just seems that I'm not sure where he stands or where he wants this relationship to lead, especially since I have kids and he does not.

Seriously?

I am new to blogging and it is confusing! I mean, Seriously? How hard can it really be! I just want to connect with people to share my experiences, get some advice, and I don't even know the first thing about what I am doing when it comes to blogging! I feel like a dumb ass!

new to blogging

This is my first time blogging and I'm not sure how it even works. The only thing I know about it is what I saw from the tv show, House. So I am a college student, single mother of three girls, currently unemployed but seeking work. Hence why I'm going to school because getting a good job in this town is close to impossible! So, I guess, I need to do some research on this whole blogging thing so I know what I am doing! lol